By Sarah Keenan
In the corner of my parent’s room in our old house, there was a green chair. It looked fine there, beautiful even, with light swirling patterns on the cushions and dark wooden arms.
I hated that chair with a burning passion.
I hated that chair with a burning passion.
In our house, if anyone got in trouble, the typical punishment was sitting in that chair for 5 minutes to a half hour, depending on the severity of our misdeed. As a kid, I got in trouble. A lot. From locking our babysitter in the garage to dumping all the Lucky Charms on the kitchen floor to sort out the marshmallows, my wayward behavior landed me in that chair at least four times a week, and sometimes several times a day. Over the years, I must have spent many cumulative hours sitting in that chair. I considered it was the worst of punishments. I detested the color green for years because of it.
Fast forward 15 years: I was serving a mission, speaking Mandarin Chinese, and teaching about the principle of repentance to a Chinese exchange student. My companion and I invited her to repent daily at the end of the lesson, and she somewhat reluctantly agreed to. However, when we next met up with her, she admitted that she hadn’t tried repenting at all.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” she said with a shrug. “So I figured I didn’t need to repent.”
I was a little surprised by her statement. I always felt like I had something to repent of, from little things, like not giving sincere enough prayers, to bigger issues, like losing my temper.
Before I could say anything, my companion got up and wrote the simplified Chinese word for “repent” on the whiteboard behind us:
Fast forward 15 years: I was serving a mission, speaking Mandarin Chinese, and teaching about the principle of repentance to a Chinese exchange student. My companion and I invited her to repent daily at the end of the lesson, and she somewhat reluctantly agreed to. However, when we next met up with her, she admitted that she hadn’t tried repenting at all.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” she said with a shrug. “So I figured I didn’t need to repent.”
I was a little surprised by her statement. I always felt like I had something to repent of, from little things, like not giving sincere enough prayers, to bigger issues, like losing my temper.
Before I could say anything, my companion got up and wrote the simplified Chinese word for “repent” on the whiteboard behind us:
Quick background: Chinese characters are made of certain components called "radicals." Although the purpose of these radicals is to index character in Chinese dictionaries, some of these can provide insight into the meaning of a character. For example, the character 灯 ("lamp or light") and the character 灭 ("to extinguish") both use the radical 火, which means "fire."
My companion proceeded to break the character into parts:
· 每(Měi): the right side of the first character, which is often used in 每天(měi tiān) or “every day”
· 改 (Gǎi): the left character, which means “to change”
· The radical忄(shùxīn páng): the right side of the first character, which means “heart”
“Repentance is not just for mistakes,” she continued, putting down the marker. “It is the act of every day changing your heart to become more like Christ.”
As I listened to my companion, I realized that my own perspective on repentance was flawed. I had thought of repentance as the green chair from my childhood, a punishment for actions done wrong. Therefore, when I prayed at night, I typically felt a heavy feeling of resignation as listed all the things I did wrong. Just as I hated sitting in that chair as a child, I didn’t like repenting.
But repentance should not be a negative experience. In fact, it should be an overwhelmingly positive one. Stephen W. Owens of the Young Men General Presidency said: “Too often we think of repentance as something miserable and depressing. But God’s plan is the plan of happiness, not the plan of misery! Repentance is uplifting and ennobling.”
In Matthew 3, it talks about the mission of John the Baptist: to prepare the hearts of people to receive the Savior. How did he accomplish this monumental task? The same way prophets had since the beginning of time. He proclaimed “Repent ye” to anyone who would listen and baptize those who did so. John understood what the people needed: a fresh view of God and an open heart. And when the Pharisees and Sadducees tried to dismiss this need for repentance, pompously declaring their spotlessness and reminding John of their impressive pedigrees as direct descendants of Abraham, John replied that “God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham” (Matt. 3: 9), and “every valley shall be filled and every mountain and hill . . . brought low” (Luke 3:5). Everyone requires repentance, because, through Christ, everyone has an equal claim to the blessing of exaltation. Repentance is the great equalizer, allowing all to take daily steps towards Christ, no matter their life situation.
As the article “Repentance: Part of My Path to Perfection” states: “Having to repent [is] not a negative or shameful experience—It [is] the crux of becoming Christlike. …The Savior [is] not a repairman, filling in the cracks in my soul, but an architect, building me up to heights I could never achieve otherwise.”
Since changing my perspective on repentance, I no longer dread repenting nightly. In fact, it’s become one of the best parts of my day. Repentance has become a reminder of Christ’s Atonement and His ability to help me make miraculous changes in me, oras John said, turning rough stones into children and valleys into mountains. God can take our toughest paths and make them smooth. And there is joy in that. Who knows, perhaps one day I will be changed enough to feel comfortable sitting in a certain green chair.
As the article “Repentance: Part of My Path to Perfection” states: “Having to repent [is] not a negative or shameful experience—It [is] the crux of becoming Christlike. …The Savior [is] not a repairman, filling in the cracks in my soul, but an architect, building me up to heights I could never achieve otherwise.”
Since changing my perspective on repentance, I no longer dread repenting nightly. In fact, it’s become one of the best parts of my day. Repentance has become a reminder of Christ’s Atonement and His ability to help me make miraculous changes in me, oras John said, turning rough stones into children and valleys into mountains. God can take our toughest paths and make them smooth. And there is joy in that. Who knows, perhaps one day I will be changed enough to feel comfortable sitting in a certain green chair.
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